You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
