If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
