the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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