I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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