We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
