I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
