it was like his penis was on wheels.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
