We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
