he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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