Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
