Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had sex on a roof
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
