i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
