So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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