Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
