i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
