i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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