My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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