Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
