remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
