is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
