if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
