I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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