its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
