Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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