when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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