I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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