I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
