I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
