His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
