There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
