Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
