3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
