Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
