Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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