i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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