I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
