Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize