so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
