So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
