do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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