The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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