D3 body, D1 cock
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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