so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
