On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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