She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
