I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
