kristin has been a bad kristin
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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