so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
