Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
