when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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