I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
