If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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