Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
