I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
