I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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