erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
