He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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