i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
