You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
