next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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